WARNING AND CAUTION
READER DISCRETION ADVISED
BEWARE This is strong stuff.

THE BURDEN OF HATRED

“In jail at age 17.
6 or 7 times in prison. So often
I knew many of the inmates.
It was like going home.”

Listening to Brad P quietly talking
an autobiographical poem.
“the only poem I ever wrote.

“A love ballad: JALAPENA

“My lil Mexican jalapena
it’s been two years since I last seen ya
I’d sure like to go up in ya
blow yer brains out jalapena.

“Took my car cuz greed was in ya!
I’d love to watch you bleed (I’d grin.)
you dirty rotten jalapena!

“You rat n’ ran way up to Denva
told the Feds I cooked meth n’ then ya
made a deal so they’d defend ya
you stinkin slime bag, jalapena.

“A snitch I’m not” cried jalapena
as I shoved the hot shot in ya
“Sure yer not, it couldn’t have been ya.
Say goodbye BITCH, all up in ya.

“You jerked n’ jumped n’ twitched again.
Now there’s no more life within ya
dead n’ stinkin’ jalapena.”

“It’s the only poem I ever wrote.
Felt so much anger,
sensed the tremendous power
of violence within me.
My endless running, running, rerunning
utterly black and evil stopped
when I became creative in dealing with hatred.

“Turning the “way back then”
into my current process of self-awareness
so hatred stops popping up…
How to speak with myself and test the words
before they come out of my mouth.

I also attach to new opportunities of life.
“I escape by making an accounting
of burdens beyond rage, envy, anger
and the violent hatred in death endings.
Steve, I had to kill her in my mind.


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